Monday, April 2, 2012
GHOUL Release HILARIOUS Blood-Splattered Update From The Road!
Cremator has supplied us with the following update, assuring us that he and his fellow numbskulls are alive and well. The rest of the crew... well, you'll see.
"We thought Creepsylania was a dump, but now we are homesick… this backwards country we are touring, called by locals, "'Merica," is horrible! Granted, we like violence, but never has GHOUL witnessed citizenry that is so bent on hurting and destroying each other.
"While these "moshing pits" of yours are eminently hilarious to view from the stage, it leaves us a little sad that we have so few people left to kill ourselves at the end of the show. I guess we shouldn't look a gift horse in the mouth, as the littered corpses have kept us well fed for long drives.
"From the beast coast to the midwest, we've had a very hard go of it. Every night the Creepsylvanian authorities show up and try to shut down our show before we even begin. Just when we think we've gotten rid of them and are pummeling the audience to submission, their bastard creation Killbot shows up and beats the shit out of Cremator. Luckily, we brought the best roadie in the world, Kogar the Destructor. He is the whole road crew all in one and manages to beat the mechanical moron back without fail… so far.
"Thrashing out excellently next to us has been the band of original party dudes, MUNICIPAL WASTE. What a burden, though! They keep drinking all the rot gut and numbskull that Fermentor makes before we are even off the stage. How is a Ghoul to get drunk? Your 'Merican beer may have made Bud wiser, but it just makes us vomit. Another day fucked up by the Waste and waking up with the gutbucket blues.
"The lads from New Zealand, Legacy of Disorder, are rocking it just as hard and representing the Shire well. Digestor is repeatedly disappointed, however, to find our deli tray emptied by them. The LOD members eat first breakfast, second breakfast, elevenses, luncheon, tea, dinner, AND supper. I wonder if anyone has told them our deli tray is full of human viscera?
"The lords and masters of this tour, GWAR, seem to act like our friends. We're not so sure. Many a night we've heard tale of groupies waiting for us and then Dissector finds a pile of dead chicks, assholes ripped apart, smelling of cuttlefish. We have our suspicions.
"Still, we Ghouls persevere along with our comrades on the tour, Mr. Fang and Baron Samedi. We cram in our bloodied van night after night, Kogar on top, and get ready to hit the next town. The slavering sycophantic crowds have been welcoming to our splatterthrash. We're looking forward to more nights of haunting your nightmares and emptying your cemeteries. We are the things that go bump in the night… and bleed your ear drums with rock 'n' roll."
- 4/2: Flagstaff, AZ @ Orpheum Theater
- 4/3: San Diego, CA @ House Of Blues
- 4/4: Ventura, CA @ Majestic Ventura Theater
- 4/5: Chico, CA @ Senator Theater
- 4/6: San Francisco, CA @ The Regency Ballroom
- 4/7: Reno, NV @ Knitting Factory
- 4/9: Las Vegas, NV @ Hard Rock Café
- 4/10: Magna, UT @ The Great Salt Air
- 4/11: Ft. Collins, CO @ Aggie Theater
Ghoul With GWAR With Kylesa, and Legacy of Disorder:
4/13: San Antonio, TX @ Backstage Live
4/14: Corpus Christi, TX @ House of Rock
4/16: Pensacola, FL @ Vinyl Music Hall
4/17: Orlando, FL @ Beacham Theater
4/18: Jacksonville, FL @ Free Bird Live
4/19: Asheville, NC @ The Orange Peel
4/20: N. Myrtle Beach, SC @ House of Blues SC
4/21: Baltimore, MD @ Sonar
4/22: Columbus, OH @ Newport Music Hall
4/23: Nashville, TN @ Marathon Music Works
4/25: Buffalo, NY @ The Town Ballroom
4/27: Hampton Beach, NH @ Wally's Pub
4/28: Allentown, PA @ Crocodile Rock
Ghoul's Official Site
Ghoul on Facebook
Click here to get tickets for Zombie Prom
GWAR on YouTube